Eyewitness reports indicate that giant space arachnids, some in excess of 2 stories tall, have began to invade the Pacific Northwest. Authorities say that 14 people have already been consumed by the carnivorous beasts, and there are at least 130 more injured. Experts presume that the invasion was probably due to "over crowding" of several local surf spots. They predict that the alien spiders will dissipate as soon as a majority of the local surfer population has been eaten, or at the very least violently mauled. Local police are claiming that giant spider attacks in this area have increased by nearly 1,000 percent in the last 2 days. Consequently, surfers are advised to stay away from the beaches they frequent, since it is highly likely that they will be wrapped up in silk cocoons and drained of their blood.
"I was like, at this one super secret spot, with like 20 other dudes. And this, like massive f***ing spider came down and totally thrashed this dude. I was like, Brah! No! and he was like, Ah I'm dead!" exclaimed a local surfer who witnessed one of the grisly attacks.