10 Steps to Ruin an Epic Wave...


Step 1 - Drink an 18er of PBR the night before.
Step 2 - While hiking down the trail make sure to step on one of those stupid metal stakes.  Step on it really hard too, almost like your are trying to do it purposefully.
Step 3 - Sit on the outside and wait for one of those freakish mongoloid rhino set waves.
Step 4 - Once your in perfect position, paddle your ass off and imagine the ridiculous double overhead gaping barrel your are seconds from being spit out of.
Step 5 - Instead of placing your back foot on the stomp pad, let it slip of the back so you tumble headfirst down the face of the wave.  Make sure you yell and swear a lot while doing this.
Step 6 - Take a tremendous flogging underwater and try to hit the bottom really fucking hard.
Step 7 - Don't fight it.  Let your board, who you thought was your friend, violently abuse you with its fins.
Step 8 - Go to beach and sit with dogs in shame.
Step 9 - Limp back up trail.
Step 10 - Make excuses.

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